Broken.

That was the first word that swam into my mind as I sat, listening to prayer requests of camp leaders like me. Of course I knew that no one was perfect, but as a camper I assumed the leaders were more solid and strong. I thought they had it all together.

I guess I never thought they’d be like me–learning, growing… scared.

As we talked in that basement room, I realized that these were broken people. Teenagers, actually. We were all a bunch of teenagers and young adults, helping kids with their own problems and walks with God.

One leader struggled with anxiety. Another felt his depression getting worse. So many felt inadequate to lead these kids.

I wondered, How can camp be so effective when everyone is so broken? 

The answer, of course, is God.

A while ago I was reading in the book of Deuteronomy about Moses’ death. The last sentence in Deuteronomy is this: “With mighty power, Moses performed terrifying acts in the sight of all Israel.”

When I was first introduced to Moses, he was a shepherd. When confronted with saving the Israelites from Egypt, what does Moses say? “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? …Lord, please! Send anyone else.” He protests against the God of the universe because he was nervous, awkward, and afraid of public speaking.

Now let’s fast-forward to the last words about Moses–God definitely used him to do incredible things! What if God had given up on Moses?

What if God gave up on me?

Bible heroes aren’t heroes without God. In fact, they’re broken. They’re shepherds and teenagers and regular people.

I have to remember that I am nothing without God. I, and all the other camp leaders, am broken and messed up and pathetic. I am nothing.

“With mighty power, Moses performed terrifying acts in the sight of all Israel.”

With God, however, we are powerful. We are strong.

We are capable leaders.

* * *

For those of you who actually know me, yes, I know camp ended more than a month ago. I just hadn’t gotten around to finishing this post. Enjoy!

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6 thoughts on “Broken

  1. Danaye. Remind me when I get home to show you something from my journal relating to this and Moses because I totally get it.
    It is all God. (on my bulletin board, if you remember) And camp is fantastic and wonderful and insane but it also 100% shows you your desperate need of God’s strength and energy and joy, and I’m glad you got that your first year (at least in part) because I’m still learning (and you’ve probably heard that from me too).
    Anyways, this is so true and so legit. And remember that when you feel inadequate leading Soul Tattoo, eh? Because it isn’t you leading, really. It’s God.
    And enough ramblings. I’ll see you next Sunday!
    – J

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are learning young Skywalker. This is one of the great truths of the Christian life. “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” These are the times when we cry out to God, desperate. And these are the times when we experience God, as Peter did outside of the boat.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Amen, Danaye! Love this post, as I do all your others. 🙂

    It’s in surrender that God will use us to glorify Himself. Seeing that we are weak is the first part of knowing His awesome majesty. After surrendering our all, what little we have, for His namesake, as long as our hearts are pure and willing, He will not fail to use us. He uses the weak to accomplish the great, because they have given Him their all.

    Thank you for writing this! 🙂

    -Jazzy

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And remember, Danaye, what the apostle Paul said: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” We don’t have to have all the answers; we only have to be available for God to use us how He wants.
    Be encouraged in Him. Love, Grandpa

    Liked by 2 people

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